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Vernon woman’s support group aims to help Okanagan daughters stay ‘Strong’

Losing a parent when you’re young can be exceptionally difficult.
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Michaela Gagne lost her mother at a young age, now the 22-year-old Vernon woman wants to help other women work through their own losses through a support group called Strong Daughters Okanagan. (Erin Christie/Morning Star) Michaela Gagne lost her mother at a young age, now the 22-year-old Vernon woman wants to help other women work through their own losses through a support group called Strong Daughters Okanagan. (Erin Christie/Morning Star)

Losing a parent when you’re young can be exceptionally difficult.

But support groups comprised of people who know what you’re going through can be helpful. That’s why one Vernon woman decided to start a group that aims to support others experiencing that unique kind of loss.

Michaela Gagne was 18 years-old when she lost her mother.

And while she received emotional support from her friends and family in Red Deer, Alta., where she was living at the time, Gagne felt isolated and alone.

“My mother committed suicide,” Gagne, now 22, said.

“She was a wonderful woman — educated, kind. She was my best friend. And even though I knew she struggled I didn’t see it coming. I was devastated.”

To cope with her loss Gagne, began to see a professional counsellor and eventually sought out support groups. She said counselling was helpful but she found she didn’t fit in with the support groups.

“It was all older people that lost their parents. Most of the people there were in their 50s and 60s, and I was a teenager and the youngest person there.”

While others shared the pain of loss, Gagne said she feels that generally speaking, younger people have to grapple with a different kind of grief, particularly with an unexpected loss. She ultimately found the other group members hard to relate to.

“There are so many chapters of your life you don’t have them there for when you lose a parent at a young age,” she explained.

“A lot of people at that age have, I’m assuming, had their parents there for their wedding, their graduation, the birth of their children — my mom won’t see any of that. I would never diminish anyone’s loss. I just think it’s different. All loss is different.”

It took three years, but Gagne said the search for other women like herself eventually lead her to Strong Daughters, a peer support group for women aged 18 to 33, grieving the loss of a parent.

Founded in 2016 in Calgary, Alta., by Kristin Christensen, Strong Daughters holds monthly meetings 12 times a year. Meetings are not facilitated by a counselling professional and there are no fees.

The group, Gagne said was exactly what she was looking for.

“When I went to that fist meeting I felt like a weight was lifted. I could talk about things and people understood what I was going through,” Gagne recalled.

“Kristin lost her mother to cancer when she was just 19 years-old and she started this group because she felt like I had been feeling. She is an amazing person.”

Gagne attended four meetings before her boyfriend’s employer transferred the couple to Vernon. She said it wasn’t long after their arrival that she found herself missing the support she recieved at Strong Daughters.

With the founder’s blessing, Gagne recently started her own chaper — Strong Daughters Okanagan. The informal group meets once a month at Bean 2 Cup on 27th Street.

So far, Gagne said, the response has been favourable.

“It’s hard to come talk about something so personal — especially with strangers, but there’s no judgement. Everyone is just there to listen and heal.”

Monthly meetings are currently being held at Bean 2 Cup in Vernon. The next meeting is Wednesday, April 25 at 6:30 p.m. and Gagne said anyone is welcome. For more information, visit Strong Daughters Okanagan on Facebook.

Erin Christie

Morning Star Staff


@VernonNews
erin.christie@vernonmorningstar.com

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