When will I ever be enough? is the question many of my clients have asked me. That question comes from women of all ages.
What or who has made their inner core of worthiness seem to be non- existent?
It isn’t only women who feel this lack of being ‘enough’. Men also grow up with a lack of self worth. But with them it manifests in a different way. They tend to stuff it down and then, generally speaking, wear a mask of denial, covering it up in a variety of ways.
Most of my life I felt like I was never enough. I had low self-esteem and misinterpreted others behaviour or comments due to this. I took “taking things personally” to a whole new level; which is what we do when our ‘worthiness’ foundation is weak.
It makes for an uncertain life if you constantly question whether you ever measure up in any situation.
There will be very few of you who read this who will not be able to relate. I believe issues around self esteem are almost at epidemic proportion and I think it has been fanned by societal influence.
The messages that we receive from all aspects of media imply that we can never be skinny enough, pretty enough, young-looking enough, successful enough, smart enough or sexy enough.
Ageism is rampant and boomers are heading in droves to salons and medical professionals who can ‘erase’ lines and make us look younger, implying that a youthful appearance is better than normal aging. The message is that we are not ‘enough’ if we age normally. “Wrinkle free” has become a cliché in the cosmetic industry.
The message of never ‘being enough’ is constantly reinforced, because realistically, nobody would ever be able to achieve the perfection that is presented as being normal.
While the women’s movement has helped to bump us into new thought and behaviour patterns, it seems children are influenced in a way that leaves them feeling like they are not good enough.
Girls as young as six are beginning to become aware of body image, so they start to feel ‘less than’ in elementary school and these feelings follow them and grow as they do. They have been set up to compare themselves with the unrealistic images they see on TV, the internet, magazines and other media.
Our focus, sadly, has become all about image and consumerism.
We can learn how to control our thoughts and how we process information. We can mindfully learn to block out messages that do not make us feel good about ourselves.
We must learn to celebrate our uniqueness and not give up what makes us different by becoming someone we aren’t.
Are you in an unhappy relationship?
Do you want a relationship primarily because you do not feel ‘whole’ without a partner?
Are your decisions fear-based?
Do you feel like a chameleon, changing the essence, the inner core of who you are, dependent upon the imagined or real expectations of others?
On April 27, I will team up with Lynn Moore (intuitive coach/mentor) of Inspirational Goaling and together, we will be offering a day-long workshop entitled “Will I Ever Be Enough” for women of all ages.
Join us on this empowering day and find your personal confidence. You may come in asking “Will I Ever Be Enough”, but know you will leave with the tools that will allow you to say, “I Am Enough.”
For more information go to: www.EverBeEnough.com
Carole Fawcett is a professional counsellor, clinical hypnotherapist and free-lance writer. www.amindfulconnection.com