BOOMER TALK: Patience is a virtue

Columnist discovers good things come to those who wait (and with the help of a rubber grip thingy)...

It is said that patience is a virtue.

I was about 50 – uh (oh – never mind!) when the seeming conspiracy started.  I believe it was a jar of pickles.  There they were, all enticingly layered in their juices inside the glass jar.  There I was with my crackers and cheese and tea all at the ready.  All I had to do was add the pickles.  “I’ll just open that”  I thought.  I couldn’t.

The conspiracy ‘theory’ had now become reality.

So, I found my special rubberized “guaranteed-to-open-any-jar-due-to-the-improved-grip” jar opener. It didn’t. So then I tapped the jar lid all around the edge with the handle of a knife.  Nope.  I then rummaged through my “ohmygawd-what-a-mess” junk drawer in the kitchen and found yet another special jar opener. (it’s good to have a selection – because the jar/container challenges come in all shapes and sizes)

Anyway, I found the type that you place around the actual jar lid and then grip it with your hand whilst trying to keep it on the thin lid rim plus holding the actual jar with the other hand (yeah – right!) oh – and twisting it at the same time.

But it kept slipping off and I couldn’t get a good grip with either hand. (no kidding)  So I finally ran the whole thing under hot water.  Then I used the special rubberized thingy (again) and I finally got it open.  Eureka! I was in pickle heaven.  But my tea was cold.

Since then, I have had to replay this scenario with pretty much anything and everything that needs to be opened (I have arthritis at a very young age – drat – why is my nose growing?).  Heaven help me if I need to gain access to a popular pain medication. (note the irony)

After pushing down and twisting whilst swinging from the chandelier (simultaneously mind you), the next step involves trying to pry off the nuclear-glued foil that is affixed to the top of the lid. (back to the drawer for something sharp with which to puncture the foil)

Once this has been achieved, it is easy enough to remove the four feet of cotton stuffed inside the bottle.

You’ll find the 10 very small tablets at the bottom of the large container.  I often feel like I should be given a diploma or at the very least a certificate once I’ve made it through all the layers.  (and I didn’t even mention the box it comes in that is sealed shut like a bank vault  – I had to use the exacto knife for that one, because the good ol’ stand-by – the steak knife – barely made a dent)

Ah – the joys of boomer-dom. I’m sure there are more on the horizon.  But if we can look at these challenges with humour, we will learn that patience really is a virtue.  (and if we are lucky, we will all be virtuously patient)

Carole Fawcett is a counsellor, master hypnotist and clinical hypnotherapist and is a member of the Professional Writers Association of Canada.