What unseen emotions, feelings or thoughts walk alongside you daily, impacting on your sense of self worth? Can you identify them?
Did you get the message as a child that you should be seen, but not heard? Were you abused in any way? Perhaps given messages that you were not important in the grand scheme of your family? Was your upbringing very rigid or lacking in love?
Was what other people thought more important than what you thought? Did you have a happy childhood, or do you have segments that you have ‘forgotten’ (or stuffed down so deep that you no longer have to acknowledge them by remembering)?
Likely some of this applies to everyone who is reading these words. Your unseen emotion may have taken you by the hand and led you through life on a journey that may have been difficult. But, it’s never too late to make the changes that will help to enhance your life.
“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out, also keep out joy.” Jim Rohn, was the motivational speaker who made this statement. (1930 – 2009)
Sometimes we unconsciously nurture our negativities. They have become so real to us that we fan the flames of the negative way of thinking about ourselves – no longer requiring anyone else to do it for us.
Simplistically speaking, we may fall into different categories. The Worrier, excels at “what-iffing” thereby promoting anxiety in their lives. The Critic (shoulda – woulda – coulda) attacks their self esteem. The Victim (why me? It’s always me!) can turn into depression. Then there’s the Perfectionist (It’s never good enough…) promotes chronic stress, because we can never meet our own unrealistic expectations.
It seems easier to grab the negativity and hang on to it, particularly when we see it, hear it and feel it almost daily. It’s harder to find the positive when the world is in turmoil, as it creates turmoil in our personal well being.
We worry about what has happened, along with what has not happened. It then seems natural to make predictions about what “might” happen and this insidiously takes over our thoughts.
The negativities in our lives may manifest with eating too much, smoking, drinking too much, as we sit sloth-like on the couch watching violent television shows that desensitize us to the real violence in our world.
We shut off from others by thinking we have “friends” on a computer website, but we don’t actually do face-to-face “friend” things, like see one another over a meal, or go for a walk. We may work for abusive bosses, or in extremely stressful jobs then go home and isolate ourselves.
Things like fibromyalgia, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, anxiety, psoriasis, arthritis, depression, sore backs, headaches, neck tension and more start to appear in our bodies. As Author Caroline Myss states “Your biography is your biology.”
Interestingly, (and annoyingly), the emotions we’ve stuffed for decades can pop up when we are in our 40th decade. Everyone’s life experience is different, so with some, it may be in their 50’s and 60’s before they feel the need to examine what they have stuffed.
We may keep bumping into the same type of relationship problem, health problem, or feel we are self sabotaging ourselves with our thoughts. We don’t need to carry the burdens of our past with us.
Is it time to unpack your baggage and cleanse your emotional soul?
Think about it.
Carole Fawcett is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Registered Professional Counsellor, and Freelance Writer. www.amindfulconnection.com