Dear Santa, the Grinch should be on the Nice List

A letter to Santa penned by the Grinch explains it all

Dear Santa,

It’s me, the Grinch, you may have heard of some unpleasant thing about me but you shouldn’t listen to those Whos in Whoville. You never saw or heard the truth, so let me tell you the truth from my perspective. I’m sure you will understand.

First of all, I do have a reason why Christmas isn’t my favourite holiday. As a kid, I got bullied for my rare disease called synopiaindis where green hair grows all over my body.

On Christmas, the boys at school made fun of me. I still remember Augustus Maywho’s voice in my head saying some pretty mean stuff. To go on top of that, my parents died on the same day. Christmas.

When my parents went to buy hot cocoa mix that night, they never came back.

The RCMP knocked on the door and announced that my parents were in a car accident.

Santa, I tried to keep a good mindset, but I was just so overwhelmed with the bank man coming, people with cards coming, the police coming and more. The only feeling that came to me was sadness and loneliness.

I was too young to get my parent’s money. That meant that I couldn’t pay for our house. I found a big cave on the top of the mountain, me and my dog Max moved into the cave. That was by far the worst Christmas I ever had.

Secondly, you may think that I was stealing, but I wasn’t actually stealing.

I got a brilliant idea.

A couple of years had passed, so I grew up and wanted to get some social time to distract myself from what had happened as a kid.

I was going to host a Whoville Christmas dinner.

On December 23rd, I sent out invitations for my Christmas dinner.

Of course, the worst came, that night was a snowstorm and all the invitations blew away. I didn’t realize it until everyone was mad at me on Christmas morning. I was collecting all the food as I said in the invitation so our food would be even better for our feast. I also included in the invitation that I will be collecting the Christmas trees and decorations.

Also, Santa, if you didn’t know I collect garbage and take it to the garbage dump. When I saw all the wrapping paper I assumed that it was garbage so I took it with me as well. I didn’t know it was the presents.

Lastly, when I burnt the big tree in the middle of Whoville it was so I could teach all the Whos the true meaning of Christmas. Being together with friends and family and not the presents or trees and all those other distractions.

You may think that me and Cindy Lou Who hate each other, but here is the truth. When I was wrapping Cindy Lou Who in the mailroom we were actually having a Christmas wrapping paper contest. When I lost the contest, I got a little out of control so I threw her down the present deliverer.

Santa, we all mess up here and there, but just that one thing doesn’t mean I should be on the naughty list.

Anyway, I saved her from death so we are even. When I dumped her back down to Whoville after, she invited me to the Cheermiester it was because she was always complaining about how boring her life is and how there is nothing fun to do in Whoville.

So I said, “try this! Ready! 3,2,1,” and pulled the rope, then she slid down to Whoville.

I was saving time from climbing back down that cold mountain.

Now, lastly, when Cindy came to get me after I collected all the gifts and trees for Christmas dinner I accidentally pushed her with the sleigh. I guess I was just so tired I couldn’t really keep my eye on anything. When Cindy was falling I actually saved her from pulling the sleigh backward. I have saved Cindy’s life several times — I should definitely be on the nice list.

Santa, you may still believe those Whos, but I’m just trying to tell you I should be on the Nice List. Merry Christmas, Santa. Oh! And for Christmas, I would like a house down in Whoville or just a vehicle so I can drive down to Whoville or just some Christmas cookies. Also if you need any help delivering presents you can always come to me.

Sincerely,

The Grinch

— This is a letter to Santa from Claire, a Grade 7 student from Kidston Elementary. It is written from the perspective of the Grinch from the beloved Dr. Seuss classic.

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