Henry Cavill flexes his muscles as Theseus in the visually stunning

Aisle Seat: Immortals is all brawn over brains

Morning Star movie reviewer Jason Armstrong gives the lush looking, story lacking Immortals two-and-a-half stars out of five.

  • Nov. 18, 2011 3:00 p.m.

In case you didn’t get a good enough dose of blood-soaked bone crunching during the summer in Conan The Barbarian, here comes Immortals –– a 3D movie with a blueprint resembling 300, but with a thick layer of cheese all its own.

Visually, Immortals is a beauty –– vivid and jammed with visceral wonder, there are few movies out there as good looking as this one.

The problem is, there isn’t a whole lot more to this. Of course, if your prime reason for buying a ticket is to have limbs and goop flying out at you:

A) Seek therapy, and soon.

B) Enjoy. Here’s the gem you’ve been waiting for.

Henry Cavill (future Superman) plays Theseus, a peasant whose village is being targeted by King Hyperion (a hammed-up Mickey Rourke), who has declared war on mankind.

Theseus puts up a good fight, but loses both family and friends to Hyperion and his army.  With vengeance fuelling him, Theseus seeks out (with help from the virgin oracle played by Freida Pinto) a sacred bow with special powers that will help him battle Hyperion in the war to end all wars. Or something like that.

Again, Immortals isn’t likely to disappoint action fans who enjoy a little edge to their entertainment, as the plentiful battle scenes (although there are lulls in between) come complete with head smooshing and impaling galore. In 3-D, no less. But director Tarsem Singh is so obsessed with creating a visual goodie, he abandons the art of storytelling early on in this one.

The feature is currently playing at Galaxy Cinemas in Vernon.

–– Jason Armstrong is the longtime film reviewer for The Morning Star.

 

 

Just Posted

Weak link in Sagmoen trial, defence says

Counsel questions whether search warrant police executed was obtained on reasonable grounds

North Okanagan MP says throne speech lacked specifics

‘Trudeau government presented a vague agenda,’: MP Mel Arnold

Overdose deaths cut in half in Vernon

In 2019, there were 12 illicit overdose deaths in Vernon, down from last year’s 24

Vernon house fire likely started in kitchen

Nobody home at time except family pet who died after being rescued by firefighter

Falkland shootout suspect has lengthy criminal record

Williams Lake RCMP issued a warrant for Darwyn Sellars’ arrest on Nov. 4, 2019

VIDEO: Federal Liberals’ throne speech welcomes opposition’s ideas

Trudeau will need NDP or Bloc support to pass legislation and survive confidence votes

VIDEO: John Lennon’s iconic Rolls Royce rolls into Vancouver Island college for checkup

Royal BC Museum, Camosun College and Carriageworks Restorations come together to care for car

‘She was awesome’: Malakwa baker leaves U.S. holiday show

‘There are Christmas miracles, look at me’

VIDEO: Rockslide closes part of Highway 93 in Fairmont Hot Springs

Geotechnical team called in to do an assessment after rocks fell from hoodoos

Petition calls for appeal of ex-Burns Lake mayor’s sentence for sex assault

Prosecution service says Luke Strimbold’s case is under review

Northwest B.C. wildlife shelter rescues particularly tiny bear cub

Shelter co-founder says the cub weighs less than a third of what it should at this time of year

Independent Investigations Office seeks witnesses following arrest in Penticton

The male resisted arrest at approximately 8:40 a.m. and sustained a head injury

Sicamous Eagles defeat Summerland Steam in overtime decision

Junior B hockey teams faced off in Summerland on Dec. 5

Most Read