Y’know, I think I liked Shark Night 3D a lot better the first time I saw it… when it was called Jaws. Make that a whole lot better, because this sucker is dead in the water, literally.
Not that, given the overly innovative title, I was anticipating a gem. The best case scenario was that Shark Night would reach the playful level of cheese that last year’s late summer soggy screamfest, Piranha, was able to enjoy.
No such luck.
Shark Night 3D doesn’t have the teeth to swim into the so-bad-it’s-good category. It’s just bad. Period.
The plot has a pack of Tulane students (including former American Idol contestant Katherine McPhee) visiting the family vacation house of Sara Paxton to frolic in the surprisingly deserted giant lake.
Add two local rednecks, a goofball cop and a bunch of hungry man-eating sharks, and you can pretty much sum up what goes down here. And it all happens in 3-D.
What are sharks doing in a lake, you say? There is an answer within the story’s frame, but honestly, do you care?
Director David Ellis, a former stuntman, also directed a movie by the name of Snakes On A Plane. Now, while that too was an awful film, it was fun, simply because it never took itself seriously.
And while you can sometimes feel Ellis perhaps trying to jam the ol’ tongue into the cheek for Shark Night, it doesn’t seem to be as self-mocking as it should to work.
Like most 3-D movies, it whips all kinds of stuff at the camera: shark teeth, boat parts, etc. Alas, the ambition all but stops there.
The feature is currently playing at Galaxy Cinemas in Vernon.
–– Jason Armstrong is the movie reviewer for The Morning Star.