Vin Diesel is back in black as Riddick.

Vin Diesel is back in black as Riddick.

Reel Reviews: Diesel film is utterly ‘Riddickulous’

Keep your spine strong for this third instalment of the Riddick series, featuring the glowing pupils of Vin Diesel.

  • Sep. 13, 2013 2:00 p.m.

Richard B. Riddick (Vin Diesel) is the last of the Furyans, a warrior race from the planet Fury.

A murderer and outlaw, Riddick was on the run until he discovered the Necromongers were responsible for destroying the Furyan race. Riddick challenged the Lord Marshal of the Necromongers and killed him, becoming the new Lord Marshal and leader of the Necromongers.

Tiring of his role as the Lord Marshal, Riddick restarts his search for his lost home planet of Furya, only to be betrayed by his Necromongers who abandon him on yet another uninhabited, inhospitable planet.

Will Riddick find a way off this desolate, dangerous planet? Will he kill a lot of living things along the way? Will he mumble all his lines?

We say, “Keep your spine strong.”

HOWE: If, like me, you haven’t seen either of the first two installments of this story you will probably be lost for the first 20 minutes or so. Then when you do start to understand the plot you will ask yourself, am I really that bothered about it?

TAYLOR: Swollen Adam Sandler is back and grumblier than ever. I took my son Terran, who is 17, to the film. He hadn’t seen Pitch Black, The Chronicles of Riddick, or any of the Riddick cartoons, so he was unaware of even what Riddick is. So his superhuman strength, night vision eyeballs and seeming inability to die were a bit confusing. The film does flashback to elements of the story that lead to Riddick being in the predicament he currently finds himself, but understanding isn’t enough to make the plot believable, or the film enjoyable.

HOWE: So if the plot/storyline wasn’t bad enough, I was hoping a little that the acting would be better. Oh, how wrong could I be? It was comical, the cast are so wooden you could lay them out side by side and make a raft. Where do they find these actors, if that’s what they are meant to be?

TAYLOR: I agree that the acting wasn’t great, but I don’t really expect much from the likes of Diesel, nor really anyone in any Riddick movie. It’s not an Oscar contender, it’s meant to be an action-adventure science fiction popcorn flick. The problem is that it’s stupid. I don’t want to give too much away, because I’m sure that there are going to be people who like the film. Let’s just say that when it comes to plot points, the things that move the story forward, from one scene to the next, are narrowly contrived at the least and utterly ridiculous at the most. However, you can’t blame it all on terrible acting, the writing was also atrocious.

HOWE: Even some of the effects were naff, I’ve seen better on TV. There was one point I chuckled to myself when what were meant to be flying motorbikes raced across the landscape. It was so bad it looked like someone knocked it together in their garage with a rolling screen behind them. Don’t get me started on the dog-like creature. Where’s Red Dwarf when you need it?

— Howe gives Riddick 1.5 eye make up cases out of 5.

— Taylor gives it 2 glowing pupils out of 5.

The film is currently showing at the Galaxy Cinemas in Vernon

— Peter Howe and Brian Taylor are freelance film reviewers whose column appears in The Morning Star every Friday and Sunday.