The Thing (Jamie Bell) stands behind the Invisible Woman (Kate Mara)

The Thing (Jamie Bell) stands behind the Invisible Woman (Kate Mara)

Reel Reviews: Fantastic Four is a fantastic bore

"The biggest problem with the Fantastic Four is that their inception seems to be an afterthought in an over-saturated market."

  • Aug. 16, 2015 3:00 p.m.

Richard Reed is a genius inventor who, as a boy, creates a teleporter that transports objects away, never to return.

As a teenager he reveals his improved teleporter that can now return the objects transported, although slightly damaged. His teachers think his machine is fraudulent, but he is recruited by the Baxter Institute, given a team, a budget and asked to build a larger machine with the goal of transporting humans.

Soon, Reed and his team will transport themselves to another dimension and return with strange super-powers. Quite by accident, they will become the Fantastic Four and the fifth will become the villainous Dr. Doom.

We say, “Whistle note, descending, followed by sound of plane crashing into ground.”

TAYLOR: This movie was the second film written and directed by Josh Trank (Chronicle). I think that Trank’s limited experience, especially with big budgets, fed into its failure, but he’s not entirely to blame, despite also writing it. Any time the goal is to set up a franchise, the inception story is told. Usually our introduction to the characters and the universe(s) in which they live is full of mystery and meaning. Superman has his Krypton backstory, Batman has his revenge issues, Spiderman is a teenager, etc. The biggest problem with the Fantastic Four is that their inception seems to be an afterthought in an over-saturated market. It needn’t exist.

HOWE: And here I thought The Incredible Hulk with Eric Bana or The Green Lantern with Ryan Reynolds were bad. Everything about Fantastic Four is wrong: the choice of actors, the storyline, the acting, the look of the movie, the use or really the lack of the use of villain Dr. Doom, I could go on and on. I am disappointed with Marvel. They have released some great movies in the last couple of years. This is a huge letdown. The only two positive things I can suss out are that it’s only 90 minutes long and it didn’t rip me off an extra three bucks for 3D.

TAYLOR: With endless dull sets, a bleak alien desert, disinterested friends who seem to only reluctantly acknowledge their feelings, and an overall depressing saturation, Four comes across as a serious bummer. I’m all for dark tones, but I more enjoyed (and I use that word reluctantly) the mood of the Fantastic Four film that came out a mere eight years ago. Where it took fantastic characters and put them in the real world, this film keeps them in the dark and inaccessible. Although the special effects were greatly improved upon and The Thing looks realistic, nobody cares, especially me. Too little, too late, bad timing, unnecessary and just plain bad.

HOWE: I’m not going to waste anymore of my time on this drivel. If I were you, I wouldn’t be bothered with it, but if after reading this you still want to go see it, do so because you want to see a trainwreck, then you won’t be disappointed. Instead, you could go see Antman or Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation.

– Howe gives the Fantastic Four 1 toy car out of 5.

– Taylor gives it 1.5 clobberings out of 5.

– Brian Taylor and Peter Howe are film reviewers based in Vernon, B.C. Their column appears in The Morning Star every Friday and Sunday.


Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Overwhelming support for Vernon businesses this holiday season: Chamber

Vernon chamber urges shoppers to keep dollars local amid pandemic with #voteVernon campaign

Vernon Fire Rescue Services responded to reports of a structure fire on Valleyview Place Jan. 26, 2021. (Brendan Shykora - Vernon Morning Star)
Fire snuffed in Vernon home

No visible smoke, flames from area of reported structure fire

Vernon’s Noric House long-term care facility is dealing with a COVID-19 outbreak. (Jennifer Smith - Morning Star)
Another death linked to COVID-19 outbreak at Vernon care home

It’s the sixth death at Noric House related to the virus to date

Design rendering for the proposed Coldstream Community Centre. An advisory committee will make a decision on the latest site plan Tuesday, Jan. 26, 2021. (Sahuri & Associates rendering)
Coldstream committee to review latest designs for new community centre

Design renderings have been released for the centre that would add 84 local child care spaces

A sign indicating a COVID-19 testing site is displayed inside a parking garage in West Nyack, N.Y., Monday, Nov. 30, 2020. The site was only open to students and staff of Rockland County schools in an effort to test enough people to keep the schools open for in-person learning. (AP Photo/Seth Wenig)
4 more deaths, 54 new cases of COVID-19 in Interior Health

This brings the total to 66 deaths in the region

Dr. Penny Ballem, a former deputy health minister, discusses her role in leading B.C.’s COVID-19 vaccination program, at the B.C. legislature, Jan. 22, 2021. (B.C. government)
B.C. holds steady with 407 new COVID-19 cases Tuesday

14 deaths, no new outbreaks in the health care system

A Cessna 170 airplane similar to the one pictured above is reported to be missing off the waters between Victoria and Washington State. Twitter photo/USCG
Canadian, American rescue crews searching for missing aircraft in waters near Victoria

The search is centered around the waters northeast of Port Angeles

Kevin Lee Barrett pleaded guilty to the aggravated assault of his mother Eleanor Holmes on Tuesday, Jan. 26. (File)
West Kelowna man who beat his mom could be sentenced up to 9 years

Kevin Barrett entered a surprise guilty plea to the lesser charge of aggravated assault on Tuesday morning

Interior Health reported two more COVID-19 deaths at Sunnybank Retirement Center in Oliver Tuesday, Jan. 26, 2021. (File photo)
COVID-19 claims lives of two more South Okanagan care home residents

Five residents of the Oliver care home have died since the outbreak was first declared

11 more cases of COVID-19 have been linked to a cluster on Big White Mountain. Pictured above is TELUS park at Big White Ski Resort, Jan. 26. (Big White Ski Resort)
11 more cases of COVID-19 linked to Big White cluster

This brings the total case count to 225, according to health authorities in a Tuesday update

Jonathon Muzychka and Dean Reber are wanted on Canada-wide warrants. (Courtesy of Victoria Police Department)
Convicted killer, robber at large after failing to return to facility: Victoria police

Dean Reber, 60, and Jonathon Muzychka, 43, may be together

Oliver Elementary School
Former Oliver PAC treasurer charged with fraud returns to court

Belinda Yorke will be in court to fix a date for trial in February

B.C. Premier John Horgan listens during a postelection news conference in Vancouver on Sunday, Oct. 25, 2020. THE CANADIAN PRESS/Darryl Dyck
30% of B.C. recovery benefit applications held up in manual review

The province says 150 staff have been reassigned to help with manually reviewing applications

Adam Dergazarian, bottom center, pays his respect for Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna, in front of a mural painted by artist Louie Sloe Palsino, Tuesday, Jan. 26, 2021, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Jae C. Hong)
Kobe Bryant’s presence remains strong a year after his death

Tuesday marks the grim anniversary of the crash that took their lives

Most Read