Paul Blart (Kevin James) is back riding his Segway in Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.

Paul Blart (Kevin James) is back riding his Segway in Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2.

Reel Reviews: Lock the doors on this mall cop

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is an embarrassing waste of time and money. Don’t give it any.

  • Apr. 24, 2015 4:00 p.m.

Paul Blart (Kevin James) is a Segway riding mall security officer that takes his job and himself too seriously.

He’s a jerk, he’s overly controlling, he’s rude, he’s obnoxious, he’s clueless and he’s smug about it.

His daughter Maya (Raini Rodriguez) has been accepted to UCLA but is keeping that fact a secret from her father, in order not to deal with his reaction.

While attending a mall security expo in Las Vegas, the Blarts uncover an art heist taking place in the Wynn Hotel. Together, the two of them will work with a gaggle of one dimensional characters to stop the bad guys and address their flimsy B-stories.

We say, “Mall Cop 2 is an embarrassing waste of time and money. Don’t give it any.”

TAYLOR: Wow. I hadn’t seen the original, Paul Blart: Mall Cop because I am not impressed by a fat man falling down and have better things to do with my time.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, the ingeniously titled sequel to a film now six years gone, is probably the worst movie ever made. Why Sony would bother is beyond me. Technically it’s fine. There are no boom mics in the shot, nor poor stunt or camera work. Even the acting is… well, as good as it can be. The problem is that the entire premise of Paul Blart’s character is not likeable. The plot becomes inconsequential in a comedy about something that isn’t funny. If you eliminate the slapstick of Kevin James himself, tip-toeing around cartoonishly, or falling, you are left with only the jokes you saw in the trailer (which is more physical comedy) and Blart being unpleasant.

Luckily, PB:MC2 wears its heart on its sleeve and shows you exactly what it thinks is funny in the first five minutes. If you don’t laugh by then, you’re in trouble.

HOWE: But kids will love it. I’m not talking about the teenagers, I’m on about the younger audience. It’s not a great movie, but it is a good movie that the family can enjoy together. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not side splitting hilarious but there are a few moments that made me laugh. I can’t remember any of them, but they are there.

I’m not going to agree with you that this is the worst movie ever made, that honour is still held by The Three Stooges and to claim that title, a movie has to be well and truly terrible.

TAYLOR: It’s true that the film isn’t going to offend anyone and that kids might like it. The problem with taking kids to a film that is merely acceptable, rather than entertaining or intelligent, is that they learn to accept this as quality, which it isn’t. It’s also confusing as Blart is not likeable. At the point where the peacock is about to attack Blart, I heard a young boy announce, “Here comes a funny part!” So even the kids who wanted to see the film say it’s predictable. This is another 90 minute Adam Sandler vacation video complete with unfunny jokes for kids and pointless references for adults. It’s a complete waste of time. At least with the Stooges I expect to be insulted.

– Howe gives Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 2 works of art out of 5.

– Taylor gives it 1 joke out of 5.

Reel Review with Brian Taylor and Peter Howe appears in The Morning Star Friday and Sunday