Vince Vaughn surveys the damage he has done in Delivery Man.

Vince Vaughn surveys the damage he has done in Delivery Man.

Reel Reviews: Vaughn’s vehicle doesn’t deliver

Film review: Vince Vaughn's starring role in Delivery Man is a cookie cutter remake of the French-Canadian film Starbuck.

  • Nov. 29, 2013 1:00 p.m.

David Wozniak (Vince Vaughn) is a down on his luck everyman: in debt to shady characters, uninterested in his job as a delivery man, driving the family business meat truck, unable to impress his pregnant girlfriend and generally stuck in a holding pattern, at a time in his life that should be his productive years.

Twenty years previous, Wozniak had been supplementing his income by donating sperm which led to the discovery that he has fathered 533 children, now young adults, when 142 of them file a lawsuit to discover their biological father’s identity.

Wozniak begins tracking down his kids and changes his life in the process.

We say, “It’s a cookie cutter remake of the French-Canadian film Starbuck.”

TAYLOR: I think when you go into a Vince Vaughn movie, you already know that you’re going to get “the lovable loser.”

Delivery Man is not really any different, except that Vaughn seems a little more depressed than usual. What we have here is a film that’s entirely premise related, alternatively sappy and mildly amusing, until the end when everything works out for everyone (yay/boo.) I really couldn’t care any less.

HOWE: I will have to agree with you on the points you made above. I can’t remember one movie that I have seen in him in and gone wow, that was really a great movie.

The only good thing about Delivery Man is that B.C. born Cobie Smulders is getting some big screen attention.

TAYLOR: She certainly isn’t going to be enough to save it from ending up in the five dollar DVD bin at Wally World, alongside the heaps of other watered-down comedies, like say for instance, The Internship (which lost money,) or The Watch (which lost heaps of money.) Hey, I’m seeing a pattern here! Movies that feature Vaughn as the main attraction aren’t that attractive. Take a clue, Hollywood.

HOWE: He’s better as a filler character as in Anchorman or Old School, where you have a stronger lead comic in the shape of Will Ferrell or Luke Wilson, the latter just showing how bad Vaughn really is.

TAYLOR: I think the strongest indicator of either the success or failure of this movie is hidden in the fact that we wrote this review before seeing the movie and didn’t have to change it at all after seeing it. It is that predictable. (And no, for the record, neither of us have seen Starbuck, the Québec film by Ken Scott, who also helms this new English version, but I’ve heard it’s funnier.)

HOWE: I did laugh twice.(This prediction of the number of chuckles did not have to be changed.)

— Taylor gives Delivery Man 2 plastic cups out of 5.

— Howe gives it 2 files out of 5. (Now that I have seen it, I’ll give it 1.5 full diapers out of 5.)

The film is currently showing at the Galaxy Cinemas in Vernon.

— Peter Howe and Brian Taylor are film reviewers based in Vernon, B.C. Their column, Reel Reviews, appears in The Morning Star Friday and Sunday.