“If it has been emotionally hard for you, it is a hardship. If it has taken its toll and left you stressed, emotionally, physically and mentally depleted and feeling like you’re not yourself and that you lack the consistent energy to bounce back it’s a hardship,” said life coach Jodi Scott.
This can be triggered by divorce, relationship problems, estrangement, death of a loved one, a diagnosis or illness, financial struggle, job loss or conflict, abuse, miscarriage, life transitions such as retirement, empty nest or caring for someone who is ill or addicted and even extreme loneliness. Any significant experience where you suffered a loss; the loss of a loved one, a relationship, loss of freedom, a dream or a goal or the future you had planned that left you emotionally burdened and re-directed your life creating a demarcation – life before the experience and life after — is a hardship.
“Whether the event happened three months, three years or 30 years ago doesn’t lessen it affect, you can still wake up in a cold sweat at the thought of it” said Scott. “This is because the area of the brain that stores heightened fear based states is not time referenced, so as far as this part of the brain is concerned, what happened 30 years ago is still happening today.”
This is why symptoms such as racing heart and thoughts, nausea, feelings of being overwhelmed, becoming emotionally reactive, angered or crying easily can still happen long after the initial event. It is also why “shaking it off” or just putting it behind you and moving on doesn’t work.
“I felt it was time to do a class on healing after hardship because I encounter in my practice and within the community so many people who are trying to push themselves to overcome the heartache, hurt and extreme emotional pain of an event because they feel that enough time has passed they should be over it.”
But time doesn’t heal all as the saying goes. In fact just the opposite, the longer the fight or flight response is engaged to combat the effects of the experience the more hardwired it becomes and normal actions that would typically disengage this reactive state become ineffective. Insomnia, headaches, forgetfulness, lethargy, procrastination, constant worrying, nervousness, anticipating the worst, feeling insecure, hopeless and alone and even hair loss and ringing in the ears can be signs you are dealing with prolonged stress from hardship. Healing after hardship requires an intentional and methodical approach that addresses the post traumatic stress on all levels; emotional, mental, physical and energetic.
The Healing After Hardship class is a safe place and time to access nurturing, comfort, helpful tools, resources and exercises to support healing and recovery from personal hardship. The class runs Thursdays, July 7, 14, 21 and 28, from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. at Vero Health. Pre-registration is required and seating is limited. Register at jodiscottcoaching.com