AT RANDOM: Armageddon is nigh

How else to explain the world going to hell in a handbasket

Well, it would appear the Mayans were off by a year and the world is now ending in 2013, which would make sense given the unlucky nature of the number 13.

Not that it’s all related to triskaidekaphobia, but how else to explain the world going to hell in a handbasket?

First, of course, we go to Toronto, the self-acclaimed centre of the universe where their mayor, Rob Ford, is not having a particularly good week.

In case you’ve missed it – how has ANYBODY missed this? – Ford finally admitted that he smoked crack cocaine, less than a year after a Toronto newspaper and online media site said they had a video of the mayor doing crack which Ford denied.

The Toronto police chief said he saw the video and didn’t dispute what the media outlets said.

Ford then admitted he smoked crack. In a drunken stupor.

Cue the media frenzy.

Of course, Ford has been asked to resign and, of course, Ford has said no, he’ll stay on until the next election and let the voters decide.

I get the feeling they already have.

Staying in Ontario, in our nation’s capital, comes word of controversy surrounding the poppy campaign.

A number of students from the University of Ottawa have joined something called the Rideau Institute and its white poppy campaign for Remembrance Day.

According to one of the students handing out white poppies, “young people don’t want to celebrate war. We want to work for peace.”

I gather said student is not a history major.

At first this made my blood boil, being the extremely proud grandson and son of First and Second World War veterans. The red poppy doesn’t celebrate war. It’s a symbol of sacrifice and of peace.

It then occurred to me that if it wasn’t for the efforts of my grandpa, dad and all Canadian veterans, the students wouldn’t be able to campaign.

Irony.

My poppy, for the record, will always be red. And everyday should be Remembrance Day.

Closer to home, in Langley, we hear that kindergarten students at an elementary school have been banned from playing tag, holding a classmate’s hand and all imaginary play or else they will get sent to the principal’s office.

My word.

Parents were informed by letter and the ban is only for the kindergarten kids, not the other grades at the school.

The “temporary” – though we don’t know the definition of temporary in this case – ban came after some parents expressed concerns about rough play on the playground and some kids were getting hurt.

Well of course they were. They’re five. They’re kids. Can’t we, as adults, please just let the kids be kids?

The popular suggestion has been to place the kids in bubble wrap. But, knowing some parents, the noise of popping the bubbles will be too much to bear.

And, finally, from the athletic world, we discover that the fastest man on the planet, Jamaica’s Usain Bolt, consumed 1,000 McDonald’s McNuggets at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing because “the Chinese food looked odd.”

Bolt, naturally, won three gold medals in 2008 in the 100- and 200-metre sprints and the relay while consuming 100 McNuggets a day.

He repeated the feat in 2012 in London, though Bolt claims he was eating healthier then, and it does not appear that he ate any McNuggets.

Langley school parents must have got to him.