Now that the election is finally over (following the second longest campaign in history) and the barrage of baseball could soon be subsiding, we can finally get on with the real highlight of October.
The real dilemma of the world has been splashed across newspaper flyers and stacked along store shelves for what seems like an eternity when you’re trying to restrain yourself. It’s a scary time of year for the hoards of us who are trying to eat healthy, stick to diets and/or lose a few pounds.
Rows of every kind of chocolate, candy and sweet treat imaginable have been haunting us for weeks now. Those perfect little, bite-sized portions trick us into thinking it’s OK to have just one, but just like those darn Lays chips, you can never have just one.
It’s an evil trick they play, tempting us with all these goodies early on, knowing darn well we will devour our stash before the kids can even pick out their costumes. Therefore we will be back for more.
Some of us are lucky enough to only have to make one extra trip for candy. Others will feverishly be running around Halloween day trying to find the best treats so their house doesn’t get egged by the neighbourhood goblins.
Then, when the anticipation of Halloween finally breaks and the eve of spirits is upon us, we can relax with our candy bowl once again filled to the brim for all the little trick or treaters
But it doesn’t stop there.
We might be tempted to sneak a candy or two, or a handful of our favourites before the bowl’s remnants become nothing more than a ghost.
Then for those of us who have kids, the terror strikes when their overflowing plastic pumpkins and overweight pillow cases return home and are emptied onto the floor.
All the glorious flavours of our youth, packed in colourful wrappers and convenient sizes taunt us. Whether you’re a fan of those chewy little molasses Kisses, the single Reese peanut butter cups or the sugary little Rockets, there’s so much temptation in our kids’ haul.
The role of child protector instantly kicks in as we initiate our right to examine the treats for tampering and quality assurance.
“This one looks suspicious, that one is definitely being confiscated, ooooh, Butterfinger,” the list of excuses goes on.
But again, the ongoing temptation can continue to lurk.
While some parents let their kids have their fill of candy that night, or over the next couple days, others like to limit and monitor their child’s sugar intake.
I’ll admit, I’m one of those parents who keeps the pumpkin on top of the fridge for “my child’s well being.” When realistically, it’s so I have access to the stash.
Some years I’ve really behaved myself, keeping the pumpkin up there for almost the entire year (I’ve never seen an expiry date on candy).
My will power hasn’t been so strong in more recent years though, on top of the fact that my kid can now scale the counters like Spiderman and reach just about anything she has her sights on. Certain friends have also come to rely on the fact that I’m likely to have a stash right up to Christmas and even well into the new year.
In fact, the pumpkin becomes a staple candy jar for treats from the stocking, Valentine’s goodies and Easter chocolates. Hence my year-round go-to when the sweet tooth strikes.
I’m not sure what’s better, to devour it all in one sitting and get it done and over with, or divvy it up over time, which is a constant test of will power.
Either way, this is where the horror begins. Where it ends, I’m scared to find out.