MITCHELL’S MUSINGS: An untimely rant

I’ve chosen this year’s Thanksgiving Day weekend to rant about a few First World problems that have been bugging me

Glenn Mitchell is the managing editor of The Morning Star.

Usually during this underrated holiday I try to remind people to be grateful for what they have in this world of gotta have the next great thing even if an iphone12f is only slighter different than its predecessor.

We truly forget how blessed we are in this fast-paced, consumer-oriented society that sometimes seems to be in overdrive 24/7. So do take the time, slow down and enjoy what’s important in life, like family and friends and the great outdoors and playoff baseball and….

….However, I’ve chosen this year’s Thanksgiving Day weekend to rant about a few First World problems that have been bugging me lately and then maybe I’ll feel better afterwords and can begin to count my blessings again.

The first one literally bugs me, and I know I’m not alone.

In fact with this year’s infestation of stink bugs one feels like we’ll never be alone ever again.

I know they’re only doing what comes naturally and looking for a warm place to stay for the winter but like I tell my kids – unless you’re going to school you’re paying rent for the privilege.

And that goes double for the stink bugs, after all I love my kids.

Hey, heat and lights don’t grow on trees you know, gee I sound old.

I don’t even mind if the little critters (I’m talking stink bugs, again, not kids, just to be crystal clear) congregate on the deck or the outside wall that faces the evening sun, hey that’s what I would do if I were them (which if anybody’s ever seen the movie The Fly it can haunt one’s deepest fears).

But somehow over night, even with the windows closed, they get in between the screen and the window (I know, I know caulking apparently might take care of that I hear but I certainly can’t see any openings, especially as big as these suckers are) and I have a new hobby of flicking the little guys off the screen and watching them fly away.

They really are quite good flyers, especially with a little shove.

Occasionally, despite a disciplined regimen of immediately closing doors and such, they actually get inside the house.

And I get upset.

I know they have some purpose in the grand scheme of things, at least I think they do (they may or may not be an introduced species my sister-in-law tells me) but they’re not exactly attractive and they’re in my house dammit, and if I let them stay they’ll infest my house over the winter and show up again in the spring and they stink you know and….

“Oh, get over yourself and put it outside, it’s just a bug,” my wife will calmly tell me, quickly tiring of my melodramatic ways when it comes to these creatures.

And I do.

Although I have to admit I sometimes flick them to freedom and sometimes I play judge and jury on the trespassing charge.

Anyway the cooler nights should soon take care of the problem and I can act again like I’m one with nature…..ohmmmmmmmmmmm…..

…….I was also going to complain about three-way switches and  how they only work half the time as you spend far too much time going back and forth trying to find out which switch is screwing things up this time (I’m sure they’ve improved the technology since my house was built but still), but I think I’ve ranted enough for one day.

Especially this day.

And I do feel a bit better. So thanks for the therapy session and have a happy Thanksgiving.

 

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