MITCHELL’S MUSINGS: Trick or treat gets political

Costumes include political possibilities, which, let’s face it, get more cartoonish on a daily basis.

Glenn Mitchell is a columnist with The Morning Star

It was fairly easy back in the day when it came to coming up with a costume idea for Halloween as a kid.

I  know I was into cowboys back then and that was a go-to, back-up plan if all else failed but I also remember a green martian costume my dear mother made that got a lot of use.

It was basically a green jumpsuit with tinfoil antennas sticking out of the headpiece but it was brilliant in our eyes.

My little brother had a rabbit outfit that got good mileage. It was basically the same as the martian outfit, only with a tail and ears instead of antennaes.

Of course when we got older and lazier, it was just throw on the hockey gear or wear a mask (taboo these days) but there was always a buzz about who was going as what and all that jazz.

These days it must be even tougher because there’s so many options out there – from zombies to superheroes to video game characters to, well, the sky is truly the limit.

Including political possibilities, which, let’s face it, get more cartoonish on a daily basis.

Soooooo, I’m hoping to see some, obviously, Donald Trumps, come to the door Monday night. But maybe some can get even more creative and come as Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders or even Justin Trudeau or Tom Mulcair.

And, if they do, rather than asking them to sing a song for their treat, I just might ask them to make a political speech in character.

But, hey, I’m  not totally mean, here’s some suggestions on what to say to earn that mini Kit Kat, hey, maybe even two:

Would-be Donald Trump, hopefully with lots of hair: “I would just like to say I’m a winner, no matter what happens on Nov. 8. And if I don’t win it‘s rigged, it’s definitely rigged. And it’s the press’s fault cause they are totally corrupt and almost as crooked as Hillary. And I just may sue them all once this is over if I don’t win. What am I talking about? Of course I’m going to win, I’m a winner. So give me some candy and make America great again. Or I’ll sue you too.”

Would-be Hillary Clinton, hopefully in a pant suit: “I would just like to say I’m not Donald Trump and goodness knows that should be enough reason to vote for me. Sure I could be more inspiring and personable but I’ve got some baggage I don’t want to talk about so much so it’s best not to go too far down that road. Plus I’m leading in the polls late in the game so it’s best to play defence, they tell me. Hey, give me some candy and I’ll write you a tax receipt from the Clinton Foundation.”

Would-be Bernie Sanders, hopefully you’ll recognize him: “The political process is rigged but don’t tell Donald Trump I said that. Give me candy and I’ll make this a better world for all, somehow.”

Would-be Justin Trudeau, hopefully with a shirt on: “Wanna take a selfie with me? It’s what I do when I’m not running the country, which, now that I think about it, is most of the time. Not running the country, that is. Heh.”

Would-be Tom Mulcair, with a beard of course: “I would just like to warn Hillary about polls that say you are in the lead and utilizing defensive strategies in a campaign. One day it looks like I’m going to be prime minister and the next I’m a lame duck leader waiting for someone else to take over. Some trick huh?”

Would-be Stephen Harper, in a suit of course: “What do you mean you don’t know who I am? It hasn’t been that long. I used to be prime minister, you know like that Justin guy?

For another Mitchell’s Musings column, go to http://www.vernonmorningstar.com/opinion/396324161.html

 

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