Welcome to the third day of 2016. How’s it going so far? Hit the gym yet? Cut down on the sweets at all? Been nicer to your kids/parents/neighbours/people that you meet just walking down the street each day?
It’s all so exhausting this trying to improve oneself through resolutions and all. And it’s only day three?
So, forget about it, enjoy a typical January day in these parts as you see fit, and move on by doing the best you can with what you have.
Meanwhile I’m going to peer into my crystal ball (OK, old snow globe from the world’s fair) and attempt to entertain you with some predictions for the coming year, which is already here so I’m cheating a little bit but, hey, it’s just a snow globe so cut me some slack, will ya?
Anyway, here’s some food for thought, or fodder for conversation, or something to chew on, or just plain something to fill this space because I’m so exhausted from just thinking about all those resolutions.
So, here you go, for what it’s worth:
n The Vancouver Canucks miss the playoffs by one measly, little stinking point, kind of like one of those points that they missed out on by losing all those overtime games in the first half of the season.
n Donald Trump quietly withdraws from the Republican leadership race when someone (likely from the media) casually asks if he knows that, unlike The Apprentice, this is not a reality show and that, in fact, it’s real life. Apparently he’s more show than reality.
n Hillary Clinton expresses a sense of relief but actually is disappointed as she was hoping to land a spot on The Apprentice one day.
n The Canadian dollar reaches 66 cents American and the loonie and toonie run off together to find two bits, or four bits, or whatever they can to try and be something of value in this crazy world of ours.
n The Toronto Blue Jays get off to a slow start and everyone, including present new management, point fingers at the old management that traded away young talent for high-priced rental players that came up oh so short in 2015.
n And the Jays go another two decades before they make the playoffs.
n However, the Leafs stun everyone, including themselves, by going on a late run and make the playoffs.
n They promptly lose four straight in the first round of the playoffs but the people at TSN name them the team of the year anyway.
n The Raptors also lose in the first round of the playoffs and come in second in the TSN team of the year rankings.
n And, the Montreal Canadiens, who come in third in TSN team of the year voting, actually win the Stanley Cup, and just edge out the Blue Jays in team of the year voting, who end up last in their division but did pretty well the year before you know.
n The NHL, in a revolutionary move, decides to make the entire game 3on3 to increase scoring. And it works, the goals-a-game average in the NHL goes from 2.3 to 2.3756 after the move.
n The Seattle Seahawks win the Super Bowl by running the ball into the end zone in the dying seconds of the game.
n Justin Trudeau teams up with Justin Bieber and Justin Timberlake for a music video that goes viral, times three.
n Star Wars sets a box office record and Hollywood tries to replicate the success by going entirely sci-fi, and or superhero, and or 3D, and or comic book-based or anything that could potentially sell tickets to the characters on The Big Bang Theory.
n The price of gas drops below a buck a litre for a day or two and then promptly jumps up seven cents a litre due to market forces none of us understand.
Try to have a happy new year anyway.