Local Lizzie: Ways to heal from a broken heart

Lizzie Skelton is a UBC Okanagan student who writes a column for Black Press

Going through a break up sucks, it’s a messy emotional roller coaster. Trust me, I know how it feels. It can feel like everything inside you is breaking, your emotions run wild and your heart physically begins to hurt. I know this feeling all to well and I am sure you are familiar with it too. It hurts like hell.

It’s painful, especially the day after the breakup. Whether you’ve been broken up with or you’re the one who broke things off, it still cuts deep. You cry yourself to sleep and you continue into that solemn slumber right into the next day. You are consumed by dreams that deceive you into thinking this isn’t reality and that this isn’t actually happening. Friends and family check in on you but you ignore their texts. You hope to God that he will text you saying he’s changed his mind. Yet, as the days pass by slowly, that doesn’t happen.

You begin to ask yourself negative questions like “Am I not worth it?” or “Why does this hurt so much?”

You begin to question your self-worth, which is a dangerous road to go down. This can be devastating.

Right now, you’re hurting and your heart is aching and you’re tempted to text him or you begin to look at old photos of you both together. You thought this would make things better but you end up feeling worst than before.

Let me tell you something, it’s okay to hurt and cry.

You’re mourning, so let yourself feel those emotions. Don’t suppress them because eventually you will explode and hurt those close to you. I’ve been where you are, in fact, I am still there, with a grieving heart. Healing is slow and it takes a lot of patience but I want to list some ways I am coping in hopes to encourage others in their own journey.

  1. Cry, cry it out and let it hurt. Feel those emotions. But after a while, be careful though because you don’t want to live in that pain.
  2. Be kind, be present and love others unconditionally. This is so healing! Loving others through your pain shows so much strength.
  3. Don’t isolate yourself. Talk about it with your mentor or close friends and family. Talking about it helps so much!
  4. Pour yourself into your passions. Don’t give up on the things you love doing. For me, I’m focusing on my writing. This is something I highly suggest, it’s not only distracting but it helps you stay focused and motivated.
  5. Believe you will heal; believe you will get through this and grow from this pain. Believe you are strong, valued and loved.

Remember, you will not feel this way forever. This is just a season and you will overcome this trial. You are going to be okay.

Missed last week’s column?

Community comes together on Halloween

About Lizzie Skelton:

I’m a fourth-year University student at UBCO.

My goal is to one day go into journalism at UBC Vancouver.

I want to eventually write about controversial and political topics.

Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

Get local stories you won't find anywhere else right to your inbox.
Sign up here

Just Posted

Vernon youth ready to make some NOYSE

Showcase of excellence features talents of young local performance

Vernon Vixens leave Merritt hockey tournament undefeated

Team sweeps all four games while out-scoring opponents 21-3

Vernon museum praises local group for spearheading RCMP Appreciation Day

Feb. 1 has been officially proclaimed Royal Canadian Mounted Police Appreciation Day

North Okanagan Knights pull out overtime victory over Sicamous

Knights goalie Sean Kanervisto gets first win after being named a top KIJHL rookie

Tickets available for Vernon’s seventh-annual Okanagan Military Tattoo

The city’s largest indoor event will take place July 25-26, 2020

Officials reaching out to those in contact with Canada’s first coronavirus patient

The illness has sickened at least 1,975 people and killed 56 in China

Canada’s basketball community mourns Kobe Bryant after helicopter crash

Bryant was an 18-time NBA all-star who won five championships

Rockslide obstructing traffic on rural Shuswap road

Large boulders rolled onto Sunnybrae Canoe-Point Road in the South Shuswap.

‘Devastated’: Fans, celebrities remember Kobe Bryant after his death

Bryant played all of his 20-year career with the NBA with the Los Angeles Lakers

Kobe Bryant, daughter killed in California helicopter crash

Bryant entered the NBA draft straight out of high school in 1996

Investigation launched after six dead puppies dumped in Richmond hotel parking lot

RAPS reminds people they can always give up puppies they can’t take care of

Canadian Lunar New Year celebrations dampened by coronavirus worries

But Health Minister Patty Hajdu said today that the risk of infection is low

B.C. VIEWS: New coronavirus outbreak an important reminder

Walking the line between cautious and alarmist

Snow angels: B.C. volunteers shovel for those who can’t

‘They’ve helped me make it through the rest of the winter’

Most Read