There are many reasons why someone reaches out and makes an appointment to see a counsellor. Perhaps a life issue feels insurmountable and speaking to family or friends would be inappropriate. Maybe something has been bubbling just below the surface for many years and is now starting to interfere with daily living.
Sometimes when we have had a negative experience and choose to stuff it inside us, we can be triggered by another situation that is similar, but not the same. Unresolved emotion will pretty much always come back to haunt us. This is particularly true of issues that are related to abuse or trauma of any type.
I do not believe there is a human being alive who has not been challenged by life events. Everything we experience in life affects us in some way, sometimes good and sometimes not so good. If it is a traumatic event, it may psychologically scar us and could change the core of who we are for many years.
Low self-esteem or concerns about never being good enough may have you reaching out to a therapist. Perhaps you are having family difficulties with your children, your partners or aging parents.
If you are having issues around sexuality and don’t know who to talk with, a counsellor may be helpful.
If you are feeling depressed, feel unloved or are having moments of suicidal thinking, you would be strongly advised to seek help.
Counsellors are professional listeners. They may offer pointers, but they are not advice-givers. They assist you in making your own decisions by helping you to see (as the saying goes) “the forest from the trees.” Perhaps they will summarize your problem and by asking questions, help you see where you may be blocked or where you are holding the emotional ‘charge’.
Some of us have additional training in various modalities. There is traumatic incident reduction (TIR), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), TFT (thought field therapy), CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), clinical hypnotherapy and much more. These are additional tools that we can use to help our clients have either a successful resolution to their issues, or at the very least have some forward movement toward a goal they have set.
Our educational levels are different too. There are those who have a diploma of applied psychotherapy and counselling, or have a bachelor’s degree, a master’s degree or a doctoral degree. A combination of experience and education is usually the most helpful.
Our fees are quite different too. We charge anywhere from $65 to $125 an hour. Fees are frequently based upon our education. Perhaps some people have coverage at work (employee assistance programs), or have additional coverage, or have been the victim of a crime. (B.C. Crime Victim’s Assistance pays for counselling for victims of crime)
Counselling doesn’t have to go on for months. Depending on what the issue is, it can frequently be handled within five to six visits and sometimes less. But that is something you can discuss with your counsellor at the first appointment.
It is my personal belief that clients must feel connected with their therapist. If, after seeing someone a few times you feel you are not being heard, you might want to make a change and try another counsellor.
So, if you are having some life issues and you feel they are getting in the way of you being a content and happy person, reach out for help. It can take courage to do this, as it can be scary and frightening to think of talking about an issue that you perhaps have never shared with anyone before.
So when you are ready, take the first step, invest in yourself and know that it may make a positive difference to the rest of your life.
Carole Fawcett is a registered professional counsellor and can be reached at www.amindfulconnection.com She is a member of the Canadian Professional Counsellors Association.